The Race Night of Bohadoon

Well our local team some funds did need
So our club they did decide
To the pub they’d go to make some dough
They’d hold a big race night
They got a man from a local bank
And a lawyer for to run the show
Six sealed tin cans and a screen to hang
And a yoke like a video

Oh the night was fine and the crowds in line
The punters all in tune
And the tote was set for to take the bets
At the races of Bohadoon
There was no parade as the bets were laid
No jockeys filled the weighing room
But rich backers came there all the same
To the races of Bohadoon

If you think it strange then I will explain
How this meeting did take place
How the going was mixed and the winners fixed
Before they ran a race
Why no stable boys or wild horse flies
No trainers or a single groom
Ever saw the ground of Queally’s Lounge
At the races of Bohadoon

Well excitement flared as the first race neared
About two hours late at last
And the starters yell caused the beer to sell
About twice as fast
In this box said he every horse is ready
To go and gallop soon
So prepare to lay your shirt away
At the races of Bohadoon

Oh! I bring to mind when I was a child
How me mother on the kitchen wall
A rabbit shape she used to make
To try and stop me bawl
How that rabbit ran how that rabbit raced
How he coursed around the room
But he was just a shadow too
Like the horses at Bohadoon

Well a mighty night was had by all
‘Twas a wonderful night of fun
With the horses names and the punters claims
At the races of Bohadoon
They drank right hard and marked their cards
Every man and young gorsoon
But the nags they bought were never caught
At the races of Bohadoon.

Race nights were a popular way of fundraising in the 1980's. This song is based on my first attendance at such an event.